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The ultimate lineup of True American Heroes (or the most patriotic player puns we could think of)

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On July 4, 1776 (or some day close to that date), a group of colonial statesmen declared their independence from Great Britain, and the United States of America was born.

More than two centuries later, Americans all across the country celebrate the anniversary of that immaculate secession exactly the way our forefathers intended: by wearing star-spangled tank tops, shooting off fireworks and eating any meat product that can be cooked on a grill.

In an effort to celebrate the patriotic occasion, here is the most patriotic lineup, rotation and bullpen of current players you could possibly imagine.

Rotation

"Cuatro de" Julio Teheran

Te

"James" Madison Bumgarner

Bum

Tyson "Betsy" Ross

Ross

"Land of the Free" Homer "of the Brave" Bailey

Homer

"Oh say can" Yu "see" Darvish

Darv

Lineup

Hank "Continental" Conger-ess, Catcher

CongerUSA

Freddie "Live" Freeman "or Die," First base

FreemanUSA

Aaron "Bunker" Hill, Second base

HillUSA

David "Unalienable" Wright, Third base

WrightUSA

Starlin "and Stripes" Castro, Shortstop

CastroUSA

Shin-soo "Stat"-Choo "of Liberty," Left fieldChooUSA

Ben "Paul" Revere, Center field

RevereUSA

Hunter "Indepen" Pence "Day," Right field

PenceUSA

Bullpen

Brandon "Fire" Workman

Workman

Jason Grilli"-ng"Grill

Brad Lincoln "Memorial"

Lincoln

Joe Nathan"-iel Gorhman"

Nathan

And, just for good measure, some historically great MLB patriots ...

"One if by land, two if by" Tom Seaver

"Free" Dom DiMaggio

George "Liberty" Bell

"Red, white and" Vida Blue

Robin Yount "Rushmore"

David Justice "for all"

Daryl Boston "Tea Party"


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