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Just when you thought it was safe to stand in the on-deck circle, Puig nearly hits Kemp with bat flip

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I have frightening news to share with you this evening: Yasiel Puig's bat is possessed. We should have seen this coming. No one man can hit for that much power or flip bats that well without there being dark forces at work. I mean, Puig was nearly hit with his own bat flip. That doesn't happen unless the bat itself is calling the shots. 

Perhaps Puig thought he could control this occult power, you know, like a puppeteer who accidentally gives life to a murderous marionette. Something that happens quite often in puppeteering circles. 

And now, for some reason, the bat is angry. After Puig hit a popup in the 3rd inning on Tuesday night, Puig's bat launched itself out of Puig's hands and nearly struck an innocent Matt Kemp who was standing in the on-deck circle.  

Yasiel Puig

Who can we call on when there are possessed bats thirsty for blood? The National Guard? The President? 

I have one idea: Nolan Ryan.