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Astros nerd out inside the Green Monster, sign the walls

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Screenshot via FX

You know that bar in your neighborhood with the hipster beers and the awesome jukebox? The one with the bearded bartenders rocking tattoo sleeves you wish you were cool enough to have? Well, the inside of the Green Monster looks just like the bathroom in that bar (except without the Sex Pistols stickers, probably).

Since the dawn of time (or at least the invention of the permanent marker), players have been signing their names and doodling their doodles on the inside of baseball's most infamous outfield fence. On Saturday, Astros pitcher Mike Foltynewicz presumably flattened himself out and went right through a seam in the wall to add his own John Hancock to the masterpiece.


Manager Bo Porter probably sent the others in with strings tied around their waists, hoping that they'd bond with Folty and be able to lure him back out. 


If those walls could talk, they'd probably whisper that the team shouldn't sell that Babe Ruth guy.