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Nicknaming the Cleveland Indians' new rally mustaches

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On August 29th, 2013 the Indians were six games out of first place and four games behind a Wild Card spot. Thanks to a torrid 21-6 September, the Indians made it to the Wild Card playoff game against the Tampa Bay Rays.

Exactly one year later, the Indians are five-and-a-half games out of first place and four games out of a Wild Card spot. Having won four of their last five coming into Friday night's game, the Indians called upon the elemental power of the mustache to help them make another late season push. 

Led by Lonnie Chisenhall, the team revealed their new looks when they came out to the field before their contest against the first-place Royals. Said Chisenhall about the more babyfaced members of the club: 

"Some will be harder to grow. It's going to take a commitment out of guys. Crockett's going to have a hard time. Gomes is going to have a hard time. When you can count the hair on your upper lip, it's not good. It's going to get ugly, I think."

Though we hope to see more mustaches emerge like butterflies from a lip cocoon over the next month, here are the nicknames for tonight's mustache starting lineup:

Lonnie Chisenhall: The Captain

Chisenhall

Though Chisenhall's mustache may not be as thick and powerful as an in-his-prime Tom Selleck, it's still a no nonsense 'stache that demands respect in any clubhouse or board room. And you'd better listen up: 

Mike Aviles: The Smooth Operator

Thin and slinky, this lip worm is made for late nights and saxophone music.  

T.J. House: The Handlebar-tender

"What are you drinking? Keep in mind that we serve only two things: whiskey and lighter fluid. And they're both strained through my mustache."  

Jason Kipnis: The Monkey Bars

While T.J. House's handlebar 'stache is all business, Kipnis adds a playful spin with the addition of a soul patch. This is a mustache that your uncle may sport while on his vacation to Wacky Willy's Wet and Wild Water Park. 

Danny Salazar: The End Around

Salazar

Instead of the mustache above the lip, Salazar focuses on the connectors, those tendrils of hair that bring the mustache to the rest of the beard. 

Tyler Holt: The Fuzz

Tyler Holt

Watch out, guys -- it's the Fuzz! While you may need a microscope to see Holt's lip bristlers, that's okay. Because a mustache isn't about upper lip hair, it's about upper lip attitude. And Holt's got that in spades.

 


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